What hope is there for these children in a culture with this sort of mentality.
BBC News – Al-Shabab radio gives weapons prize to Somali children.
What hope is there for these children in a culture with this sort of mentality.
BBC News – Al-Shabab radio gives weapons prize to Somali children.
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Last October’s post:
“I am picturing a little girl. She has blond hair and blue eyes. She is wearing a polo shirt with her school’s emblem on its breast. Holding a picture she has drawn for me, she shouts “Daddy” as she runs towards me from her classroom, the same classroom in which her brother spent the previous year on his entry to school.”
Mission accomplished.
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Way back in October last year, I wrote a post about picturing my daughter in her school uniform going to the same school as her big brother. It was a battle cry, asserting my dream and my intention to grasp it whatever it may take.
This week, the dream became reality and I had the privilege of taking Lucy to her first session at the school. It was a session where parents stay and play, get to know the teachers and help settle their children in the new environment.
Lucy loved it (as did I!). She was literally skipping around the classroom.
Today Hayley took her to the second session, this one without parents. There were no tears whatsoever and she enjoyed her time once again. Fantastic.
But best of all, a little piece of last year’s dream came true today, when both kids walked to school together and Hayley was able to take this picture. Such an ordinary picture, with such an extraordinary story.
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Tonight before the kids went to bed, I told them I would play them the songs that remind me of each of them the most and they had to guess which was theirs. To help hold their attention I found Youtube clips of each song.
Oliver guessed the first was his. Lucy abstained.
Oliver was right, though his reasoning was somewhat off – that because a man was singing it, then that song must be for him. (In fact men sing both songs.) When we played Lucy’s song she was rather unimpressed, but I think that was more to do with the video being rather abstract.
So here they are. Both songs take me straight back to when each of my little ones was a mere bump.
This one is Oliver’s.
And here is Lucy’s.
Despite the deep emotions these songs stir within me, I managed to restrict my emotional outpourings to giving them both a big hug and telling them how much I loved them… only to spoil it all by rambling at length about the meaning of their final video of the evening, Oliver’s favourite, where “the whites keep going, don’t they Daddy” as Lucy put it.
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I have been deserted. In a nice way. Hayley and the kids are visiting friends and family in Wiltshire, so I’m home alone. So how am I coping?
Well, despite my confidence that I would maximise use of my available time, both to do jobs around the house and to enjoy a little “me time”, I have thus far performed like the archetypally inept bloke.
I started my solitary sojourn by spending about 90 minutes finishing my working day (even though I was at home on my sofa by this point). This continued until I got a text from a friend reminding me I should be at a comedy club. Bugger.
So resigning myself to an unfunny evening in front of the TV, I got an early night with the intention of getting to work bright and early the next day… so that I could leave at 12.30pm and start to make better use of my time. My usual alarm clock is Oliver coming in to the bedroom no later than 7am. As he wasn’t available, I set my radio to come on at 6.30am and turned in for the night.
My next conscious moment was when I looked at the clock, wondering how close to 6.30am it was, only to find it was 8.58am. Bugger.
Thereafter things did improve. I escaped work mid-afternoon, mowed and strimmed the garden, then rewarded myself with a trip to the pub for a dinner of cheese ‘n’ onion pie and a pint of Marco Pierre White’s “The Governor” ale. I have justified this to myself by equating the calories expended in the garden with those consumed in the pub. (No need to check my figures folks, trust me.)
But how am I coping without the constant hustle and bustle of my family around me. I kid you not when I say that I already miss that. Sure, it’s nice to have some peace. And the infrequency of my blogging is testament to its rarity. But the silence is eerie at times.
No matter. I have a constant companion: the radio. Mostly tuned to BBC Radio 4. Already this week it has educated me in the arguments about how to fix the economy; entertained me this afternoon with a play about someone who applies the duodecimal system a little too enthusiastically; intrigued me with an account of how Mikael Gorbachev lost his grip on power thanks to his own democratic initiatives; and this evening rekindled memories of my youth as I listened to Simon Day interview Pete Hook.
That interview was particularly resonant. Hook described how after 30 years he is playing music he wrote as a 21-year old bassist in a band. And when he performs this music now, his own 21-year old son plays bass in his band. “Spooky”, was his assessment.
I would love my own son – or my daughter for that matter – to one day play music with me. Of course they already do. For example, singing and playing percussion to my rendition of Daydream Believer on the guitar the other evening at bedtime. A priceless experience. So I hope their love of music – and tolerance of their Dad’s playing – will continue for many years.
Tomorrow I’ll get busy, decluttering the house of some of the old and broken toys the kids would no doubt claim are indispensable were they here. And then I may set up the PC to record some music. But whatever I get up to tomorrow, you can be pretty sure my usual background soundtrack of two cacophonous kids will be replaced by my trusty radio.
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It was back in December 2009 that we had to choose which school Oliver would attend. I can still picture that fateful day. We were driving along a road close to our home under a grey sky. It was almost the toss of a coin between his catchment school and another equally good school that was closer to our home but actually in a different catchment area.
“Well”, we said “if he gets into the out-of-catchment school then so will Lucy, because siblings are highest priority after kids in care or with Special Educational Needs. And if he doesn’t get a place there, so be it. They’ll both go to our catchment school.”
Three months later he got his place at the out-of-catchment school, the closer school to our home. Job done. All happy.
Or so we thought. It was a chance conversation overheard in the park only a month later that set in motion 15 months of struggle and stress. Another local Mum was saying that the local education authority had changed the rules such that the only siblings given a high priority to get into a school were to be those living in the catchment area. This meant Lucy was at risk of not getting into her brother’s school.
We immediately asked about changing our choice of school for Oliver, but basically it was too late.
We (along with 40 other parents similarly caught out) objected to the change in rules, complaining that we hadn’t been properly consulted. This was not only borne out by the fact we had no idea about the possibility of a change in the rules but also by the fact that the local authority had missed deadlines to publish information in the local press (which in any case was a tiny article buried in the back of a free local newspaper – hardly a sure-fire way to reach your intended audience of busy mothers and fathers).
Despite the validity of our objection, to our amazement, our objection was not upheld.
We lobbied local councillors and even our Member of Parliament who was supportive of our position. But the local authority would not budge.
We thought about moving house. We eventually decided against and gambled that Lucy would still get a place at her brother’s school.
The gamble failed. She was allocated a place at her catchment school.
So we played the final roll of the dice before she would start school. We lodged an appeal for her to gain a place at Oliver’s school.
As I mentioned in my last post, that appeal was heard on Wednesday. We didn’t hold out much hope as the law supports class sizes of no more than 30 children, so to award an extra place required a very large weight of evidence that to do so would be unreasonable in the extreme.
Yesterday we got the letter telling us the result of our appeal.
It was upheld. We won!
It was a moment of inexpressible euphoria wrapped up in a blanket of shock and semi-disbelief. I had to read the letter several times to convince myself it was real.
After all these months, the appeal panel not only awarded Lucy her place on the basis of our personal circumstances, but specifically mentioned the fact that we had not been properly consulted with the result that we were placed in the position of having children at separate schools.
Not only that, but it would appear that all the siblings in the same position had their appeals upheld. So six extra children need to be accommodated. The school have some sorting out to do there, but to be fair, we pointed out to them lots of ways to accommodate a few more pupils were we to be successful. And on top of that, Michael Gove (Secretary of State for Education) has recently announced an extra £500million for the extra places needed this September. (I can hardly believe I have him to thank and praise for doing so!)
So my dream of seeing Lucy going to school with her big brother is going to come true after all. I can’t tell you how happy that has made the whole family. And I really do include Oliver and Lucy in that. As soon as we told Lucy the news yesterday she was so excited and told people about it all day long. Even friends noticed how happy she was about it and how confident she suddenly seemed. It really was uncanny. Quite unprompted, when round at the house of a fellow Dad yesterday evening, she even sat on his knee and cuddled up to him, which is an absolute first for Lucy.
So last night we celebrated with champagne and some damned fine pie courtesy of some friends who are fellow parents at Oliver’s school. It felt like the end of a hard road. But it also felt like a new beginning. A very happy new beginning.
I would like to thank all the friends who have been so supportive for the last 15 months. From those who babysat the kids while we attended meetings to those who gave us such valuable advice and to those who simply offered encouragement and words of support on-line. We couldn’t have got through this without you. You know who you are and we thank you.
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Many months ago I posted about the long struggle to get both our children into the same school. After deciding to take our chances and gamble that Lucy would get a place at Oliver’s school, even though the local authority had changed the admissions criteria, we got the bad news in April that our gamble had not paid off.
So faced with having our children in different schools – not to mention a whole host of exacerbating circumstances that I won’t go into here – we decided to appeal.
Yesterday was the day of our appeal.
It’s the closest thing I have ever experienced to going to court. The local authority put their case as to why our daughter should not get a place (which is basically that they have allocated 30 places and can’t go over that), then we got the chance to question them on that.
Then we put our case. I drafted it in full to make sure I missed nothing. All in all it only took about30-40 minutes to present it, but I can tell you that the months, weeks and days leading up to it as we compiled our case were some of the most stressful I have ever experienced. I’m used to presenting arguments to meetings at work, but never with so much hanging on the outcome. (My apologies to those I work with who may feel my daughter’s school is not as crucial as their multi-million pound contract…. but it is.)
The panel make their decision at the end of the day of the hearings for the school in question. And today the result will have gone into the post.
Tomorrow we find the result.
The criteria to succeed is so demanding – and the success rate in cases such as this that are covered by Infant Class Size regulations so low – that even the specialist firm of solicitors we contacted basically told us we had a 50-1 chance and virtually told us not to bother hiring them. (So we didn’t.)
Nonetheless we felt we had a good case and consequently went ahead. There’s really no knowing how it went. The panel played poker faces and at times seemed distracted. Their questions too were limited and somewhat seemed to have missed the point of what we had been telling them. But all these impressions were shared by others who had appeals yesterday, so it tells us nothing for sure.
So we await tomorrow’s post.
Meanwhile, I have been told this week that my job is under threat of redundancy. About 1 in 7 of my department is to be made redundant. The assessments were made today in private for ratification tomorrow and Monday. From Tuesday onwards everyone is told their fate. My appointed slot to find out is not until Thursday afternoon. So I have a further week to wait to find out my future.
So all in all, much of my life is in limbo. Thankfully the kids are oblivious. So if you’ll excuse me I’m off to put them to bed. Because that’s a pleasure no limbo can spoil.
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OK, I’m going to break my blogging silence very briefly to reward the tenacity of Sara over at The Fresh Air Fund, an organisation that connects families who are prepared to open up their hearts and their homes to kids from the city to give them a fresh air experience that could change their life forever.
Let me say now that this appears to be limited to the east coast of the USA, which is not exactly my patch, but as someone who grew up in the countryside and never lost his love of it, I think this is a simple idea worth supporting.
You can read more over at the Fresh Air Fund website where it will tell you in which areas they are seeking host families.
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Ok, I promised to write eloquently on this but I’m too lazy busy. So I give you three reasons to vote Yes today.
1. It may be “a grubby little compromise”, but AV is still more representative and therefore (in my opinion) more democratic than FPTP. Instead of electing governments for whom only 30% expressed a preference, representatives must now be chosen by at least 50%. Take this explanation I found today including its splendid dining out analogy!
“The point is everyone gets a chance to vote for a party that they are prepared to be governed by in the top 2 or 3 shoot out if they choose. I might love the monster raving loonies and wish they won. I can vote for them. I can also make a grown up decision and indicate if MRL can’t govern me who is the best of the rest that I would compromise and live with.
No campaigners like to focus on the running race analogy – too simplistic for me- I’d like to think about it as 10 mates going for a night out.
3 want Indian
2 Mexican
2 Chinese
2 Thai
1 fish and chips
FFTP would mean you would all go Indian. It could well be the other 7 would rather cut off their left nad than get a curry but all 7 of them love Mexican*, it just so happens 2 like Chinese, 2 Thai and 1 F&C even more. In reality that group of mates would talk it through, compromise and go mexican – it’s the meal most of them would be happy to live with. Of the systems on offer AV gets closer to that result than FPTP.
* equally likely that enough of them like Indian enough for that to be the meal of choice too.”
2. It’s the only chance of considering PR at some point in the future. Vote No and the issue will be kicked into the long grass for at least a generation. Guaranteed. Because FPTP will be seen as getting a vote of approval.
3. Vote No and you can expect Tory governments much more often. Will Hutton explains better than I can.
If I haven’t persuaded you, there’s lots of good debate on the web, even at the font of all knowledge that is SingletrackWorld.com’s forum.
Hopefully you will find something to make up your mind. And hopefully to vote Yes.
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Babies sleep. A lot. Older children also need a lot of sleep. The trouble is, they don’t always want it.
The 12 hours from 7pm to 7am should primarily be a time of quiet in our house. It is rarely so. OK, the kids do tend to be asleep not long after 8pm, but on some nights it’s not an easy transition into the land of dreams.
Take Monday evening. Lucy decided to defy my requests to get ready for bed, ignore my pleas to come and clean her teeth and eventually went for outright defiance when I asked her to lie down in her bed. “No!” she exclaimed, sitting up in bed with the posture of a prize fighter. At this point I decided it was best for everyones sanity to leave her to her own devices for a while to see if she would cool off… at which point she went ballistic. There were tears and tantrums. For about half an hour.
Eventually, she decided to “be a good girl”. I reciprocated by holding her hand as she lay in bed and singing her lullaby to her. Not long afterwards she fell asleep.
All was quiet then, until in the middle of the night, I heard her wake crying. I entered her room to find that she had fallen asleep with her sippy cup lying next to her but without having put the lid down properly. She was soaked.
We changed her clothes and bedding (thank goodness for zippable mattress covers) and after taking her to the loo settled her back into her bed.
Some minutes later I got up again to check her. She was awake but quiet and still felt cold to the touch after lying in the wet bedding. Feeling sorry for her, I picked her up and took her into the spare room to snuggle up with me in the double sofa-bed. This was entirely to her pleasing and she cuddled up on my pillow, her nose about 1 cm from mine, looking like a sleeping angel. Before she fell asleep, she suddenly said
“Daddy…”
“Yes, Lucy?”
“I love you”
“I love you too, Princess.”
With that, she reached out so her fingers could just feel my face. And finally, we both fell into a very sound sleep.
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