He has taken to this like a duck to water (so to speak). He even stands up when he goes to the bathroom half-asleep in the middle of the night. OK, he did forget to put the seat up when doing so the other night, but what’s a small mopping up job between father and son.

His confidence was exhibited best when Hayley came across him relieving himself in the bathroom yesterday. He was standing at the toilet bowl, in full flow one might say, with his hands on his hips. He then moved them to the back of his head. “Can you aim OK like that Oliver” asked Mummy. “Oh yes,” replied Oliver nonchalantly, “easy as pie.”

The country fair had  a main arena with displays of falconry, the White Helmets motorcycle display team, and, Oliver’s favourite, jousting. There was also a funafair and many stalls.

There was archery, crossbows (including mini versions which both kids tried)…

…and catapults. We bought Oliver one at his request, though I may be tempted to scatter Magpies with it if they persist in waking me too early!

There was also face painting…

…and food. I am eating a vegetarian Welsh oggie while the kids have sausage rolls from the same vendor.

We spent about 6 hours there in total and had a great day, though Lucy was flagging towards the end.

The day ended with us wathcing about a dozen hot air balloons taking off…. then they came back down again as there was very little wind. Some came down within a few hundred yards, one almost on top of our car! Others we came across as far as 10 miles away on our route home. Oliver was disappointed that he couldn’t ride in one as he often asks me whether he can try it.

We got home by about 8.30pm after a good day out, even of we had to listen to the same Wiggles CD a few too many times.

If you read Daddy blogs you’ll have read a lot about SAHDs. And there’s no doubting they are at the forefront of changing attitudes to parenting roles. But have you heard of the GTWDs?

That’s right, the Go To Work Dads.

I think it was Dana over at Evolution of Dad who recently pointed out that it’s the working Dads who are perhaps even more at the front line of the battle change society’s prevailing attitudes towards fathers, because we are struggling to be allowed to strike a good work/home life balance.

We GTWD Daddy bloggers tend to be quiet about work because, well, it’s not parenting. And yet it is a big part of the kind of parent we are. On the down side we obviously miss out on a lot. And our kids miss us. The daily leaving and returning are big events to us every day and to our kids.

From the start, my son has known the experience of seeing me leave for most of the day, five days a week, occasionally more. His farewells are to be cherished as are those of his sister now, who this morning waved to me as I cycled down the road, shouting to me “I love you” at the top of her voice. It’s bitter sweet, that’s for sure.

When my son started to ask me why I went to work and asked me to stay home with him instead, I explained that “Daddy has to go to work to earn pennies to pay for [his] toys”. One day, he responded to this explanation by saying “I don’t want any more toys Daddy, you can stay at home with me.” Heartbreaking.

But many GTWDs, despite being proud of their contribution, feel a weight of responsibility as the primary breadwinner. And paying the bills comes first even if our daily toil no longer brings us much pleasure. For many years my own career enjoyed a modestly upward trajectory. I was never desperately ambitious but I enjoyed my work, I felt I was in the mainstream of the company and was content. Then changes several years ago found me in a backwater. As quiet backwaters go it was actually pretty nice, nonetheless it wasn’t really by choice. And eventually backwaters have a habit of drying up.

Recently I’ve had the feeling that perhaps despite maintaining my skills and my job for the financial security of my family, the downturn may yet see me out of work for the first time in my working life next year. Simultaneously I’ve been wondering about other options that may bring me more fulfillment: more interesting work, teaching, perhaps an even more drastic change of direction…

Yes, it sounds like a mid-life crisis and maybe it is. But not in a panicy sort of way that denies my age, more a quietly growing realisation and acceptance that if I don’t make a move now I might never make it.

The pressures of being a GTWD are different to SAHDs but I’d argue no less. We miss out on things and we console ourselves we’re providing for our families. We get to have careers but can sometimes feel they are there simply to put bread on the table. And keeping a job can be almost as hard as getting one in the first place. All of which has to be weighed when asking for that extra day off to take your child to his first day at school, or for flexible hours to fit in with nursery timetables or even to take him for surgery as I did with my son last week.

So spare a thought for us GTWDs. Our front line may not involve so many dirty diapers or being excluded from the “mother’s union”. But it’s out there, Monday to Friday or more, in an office or factory near you.

This post is part of Fatherhood Friday over at DadBlogs.

Today Hayley and I celebrated our first anniversary. Actually the celebrating for us as a couple happened yesterday evening when we managed to go out for a meal together without the kids. Although I wasn’t celebrating quite so much at 3am when my body seemed to have decided the Fish Konkani I ate was not to its liking. (I’ll spare you the details.)

Today we had a family day. We went for a ride along the River Mersey, starting at Chorlton Water Park with a destination of the Jackson’s Boat pub which sits next to the river, serves good beer (Old Speckled Hen for me today) and has a large grassy children’s play area. Oliver had requested this ride after last week’s Skyride local and we rode in the same formation: Oliver on his own bike, Lucy on the tagalong behind me and Hayley circling the convoy to make sure we were all in good trim.

The journey may look short on paper but Oliver’s pace is not lightning fast on his little one speed bike, though he did speed up when he discovered the joys of riding through the large puddles left by last night’s rain on otherwise dry tracks under a summer sun. Lucy, too, insisted I follow him through the water.

On arriving at the pub we found it was quite busy, so we picked a table next to the play area and ordered food. While waiting for it, Hayley decided we should play British Bulldog. This game involved everyone but me standing at the fence at one end of the play area with me in the middle. They then had to charge past me to the fence at the other side without getting caught. Hayley was a terrible cheat. As soon as she found herself in danger of being caught she retreated back to the starting fence. At one point as she ran past me in danger of being caught she even pointed at Oliver, laughing and shouting “get him”!

After food was devoured we pootled back along the trail to the car. Then Oliver went off to a birthday party with Hayley, leaving Lucy and I to devour a 99 each from the ice-cream van and watch the ducks on Chorlton Water Park. Bliss.

This evening Hayley and I have topped off the weekend by indulging in applecrumble with custard. In fact I have some left. That’ll be me signing off then. ‘Night all.

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Oliver and I were up at 6.30am prompt and given that he wasn’t allowed any food or drink from the midnight just passed, it wasn’t too difficult for us to get ready and be at the hospital for the required 7.15am check-in. The receptionists gave him a free Beano comic (and a paper for me) before we were shown to his private room which had a TV with CBeebies. At this point I realised that all our packing of toys and pencils and paper to keep him etertained had been entirely nugatory.

As he was the youngest patient today (by a few months), he was first on the surgery list. He was prepped for his op with a name tag and cream to numb the backs of his hands so they could get an IV line in for the anesthetic. Big Julien also got a name tag as he was to go into surgery with him.

We waited patiently until, just as Hayley and Lucy arrived to say “Hi”, we were called down to theater. We walked down, Oliver getting to ring the bell and open the door along the way. He held my hand and was very brave, if a little quiet, understandably interested in what was going on.

In all the time leading to this op he has taken it all in his stride and this was true right the way to theater. He was suitably distracted by the nurse when they were putting in his IV line, though he did manage to sneak a look or two and was never once upset or even nervous. When they started to give him the anesthetic the anesthetist said “now are you going to have some sweet dreams?” or some such, and I saw Oliver start to lose consciousness. The poor boy was still sitting up on his trolley and no-one had told him to lie down. I saw the look of confusion on his face and momentarily he tried to fight the sleep. So I laid him down and said “It’s OK Daddy’s here”. Then he closed his eyes and was out.

I really don’t know why they didn’t lie him down first. If you were sitting about your body height off the ground on a trolley and started to feel faint you wouldn’t be too happy would you. Anyway…

Having foregone any food or drink thus far in the morning in solidarity with the little man, I headed down to the restaurant where Hayley and Lucy were just getting a late breakfast. By the time I had eaten it it was time to head back up and a few minutes later I was taken to the recovery ward where a rather groggy but still communicative Oliver was waiting for me. The nurse asked him to remind her what he was getting for being so brave. “A sonic screwdriver”, he replied, slurring his esses rather like a drunk.

The next few hours so him slowly recovering from “semi-anesthetised”,

to “in pain in one ear” and being comforted by Mummy and Lucy (who was so sweet, stroking him, covering him with a blanket  and looking a bit concerned for her normally tough big brother),

through “a bit tired” (and rather grumpy – another anesthetic side-effect apparently) to “ready to eat”

and finally pretty much “normal working service has been resumed”.

Although the change in his hearing should be instant, Oliver himself seemed unsure what to make of his “new” ears. He did say a few things that suggested they felt different to him. So tonight I tried whispering when his right ear was on the pillow. He heard what I said, which he never would have before, so I’m content that the op has been successful from that point of view.

Now we have to keep water out of his ears for a week, so no swimming lesson this week. And baths will be a challenge as he likes to plunge his face into the water!

It’s been a long day and I’m glad it’s all over. I’m very proud of the little man and I’m now looking forward to him starting school, knowing that he will be able to hear properly. Oh, and to not having the TV quite so loud.

Today, after months of claiming to be three years old, Lucy finally reached that milestone. She has her birthday party next Saturday so today we celebrated as a family.

She opened a few cards over breakfast and also a couple of her bigger presents: a pushchair with doll and a micro scooter. After Oliver’s swimming lesson (which she watched) and lunch we went to a Skyride local along the River Mersey and other paths near Sale water-park. Oliver was on his Islabike and Lucy rode the tag-a-long for the first time. She chatted away to the Ride Leaders about how she likes cats because she is a girl and Oliver likes dogs because he is a boy. News to us.

Our progress was a touch slow, so one of the ride leaders took us (ie our family) along a slightly shorter route, which was a bit disappointing but the kids didn’t seem to mind. We were definitely holding up the other 45 or so riders a little prior to that. But what a performance by the little man on his bike, up and down hills, on-road, off-road… I was so proud of him.

And of the birthday girl who rode safely on the tag-a-long despite still being too small to pedal it properly. She loved it and rode for a good hour without complaint, despite some slightly bumpy surfaces in places.

Afterwards we went to Pizza Hut for dinner, taking Lucy’s cake which was presented to her with three candles and with the whole restaurant singing Happy Birthday to her and giving her three cheers.

Going to bed tonight she played her new favourite game, shouting “I love you” to us after we left the room and requiring the same in response. Then shouting “I love you with all my heart” and again requiring the same acknowledgment in return. If she doesn’t get it she just shouts louder and louder! Very cute and rather funny, if a little prone to disrupting the end of bedtime.

Overall, Lucy definitely had a fun day and that’s the most important thing.

Lucy has grown up so fast this year, both physically and psychologically, but at heart she remains a sweet girl with a tough exterior but a soft centre. And she is, as she was and will always be, Daddy’s little Princess.

Happy Birthday little Princess. “I love you with all my heart!!!”

I had a bad day yesterday, but it’s all relative.

Yesterday someone stole all three of our strollers: two doubles and a single. They were outside our front door but Hayley was out with the kids. We’ve often left a stroller there, under a porch to keep them dry but convenient in the morning when rushing out to school/nursery. This time we happened to be temporarily tight for garage space, indoor porch space and car space so all three were left there.

It appears that two guys seen scavenging for scrap metal further down the road have just taken them. They also took both kids scooters and my bike work-stand. They left the rain cover for one of the buggies and a plastic car seat, so it’s pretty clear they were after scrap metal. It’s a blow because Hayley will have to replace at least one double stroller for her childminding.

And the single stroller they took was the Urban Detour buggy we bought for Oliver before he was born. I chose it after seeing one being used in our local supermarket and many, many of our happiest memories are of Oliver or Lucy in that buggy. That upset me more than the unwelcome expense.

Hayley went to a local scrap dealer but he hadn’t received any of the items. We reported it to the police but there’s little chance we’ll get any of them back.

This news came to me when Hayley called me at work. Perhaps I would have been more upset except that I had just heard that the reason a colleague was suddenly absent from the office was that his son had died unexpectedly. I was still trying to imagine (and simultaneouly to NOT imagine) what it must be like for him when Hayley called. So no matter how annoyed I am that someone stole from us, I was happy to go home and hug my son as he arrived home from his afternoon at “Summer Camp” where he had been doing crafts, the products of which he eagerly showed me.

A bad day yesterday, but it’s all relative.

Oliver and friend in the double buggy, April 2007