…To Be A Dad.

"Any man can be a father. It takes someone special to be a Dad." ~Author Unknown

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It’s the kids, stupid

November 18th, 2010 · No Comments · lucy, oliver, reflections

The first rule of NaBloPoMo is don’t talk about NaBloPoMo.

OK, I’ve just broken it. But I’ve largely enjoyed my daily encounter with my PC to publish a post. In fact I’ve got rather complacent and today never thought about what I’d write. Something would come to me. But at nearly 9.30 I sat down to write and was finally stumped as to what I wanted to say today.

Then I remembered. I blog about the kids, for the kids.

So here are some simple messages to Oliver and Lucy. I’m really only making them public to prove I posted today! So feel free to come back tomorrow if an overly soppy Daddy is not your preferred reading matter.

I know your sister is loud, demanding and often your good behaviour wins you much less attention than the undeserving tantrums of your younger sibling, but rest assured my son, I am so filled with pride at your good nature, patience, generosity and care towards Lucy that have always been beyond your years. And I do love you so very much for the way you treat people so well. Oh, and I had an annoying little misbehaving sister too, so I feel your pain my son! I used to hate it when my parents couldn’t establish the wrong-doer (always my baby sister!) and so “punished” us both. (That, my son, is why Daddy let’s one or both of you get away with things sometimes that you might expect me to be cross about.)

You are such a friendly and fun-loving boy and make friends so easily. I know adults with less social skills than you! Take the time (more than a year ago!) when those two Asian girls in saris caught your eye, so you engaged them in conversation. When they said they didn’t share your passion for superheroes, you engaged them in conversation about fairies and princesses even though that wasn’t your thing. You were such a little charmer! And you make friends with kids 5 years your senior in the park simply because you recognise them from school. One time even teenagers were eating out of your hand and telling us how cool you were. If we can help to give you the confidence to maintain that friendly, sociable attitude, I think it will serve you very, very well in life.

I never expected to have a son, so you have always been the greatest surprise and biggest bonus of my life. Even now, every day, I have to pinch myself that I have a son, let alone such a joyful and beautiful boy. I love you Oliver. It is a wonder to have you in my life.

You are the diamond that sparkles in my life. You are also the diamond that cuts me! But I can stand a few scratches. You are such a contrast to your brother at first glance – much more explosive, even accounting for your younger age. Anyone who has seen you throw a tantrum will know what I mean. You still sometimes forget yourself and pay the price, like the other night when you threw yourself backwards on the bed in a fit of temper without checking nothing was behind you, banging your head on the toy pirate ship as a result. But what people less often see is your softer side. You aren’t as brave as you make out, taking so much confidence from having your big brother around. And at times you will jump into my arms, throw your arms around my neck and rest your head on my shoulder, hiding from the world, safe with your Daddy. I love those cuddly times with you. Sometimes it seems you would stay there for hours, reminiscent of when you were a baby who loved to be carried around. There is no better feeling than when I pick you up and you lie your head on my shoulder for me to sing you your lullaby at night.

For some reason I always pictured myself with a little blond haired, blue eyed daughter, so you really are my dream come true. But you are so much more than I had dreamed. Even when you are naughty (which isn’t half as often as I am making it seem!), it can be impossible not to laugh at your cheeky nature. Like when you run away even when I need you to come to me. Or when you play your latest favourite trick which is to pretend you can’t hear me when I’m talking to you, eventually giving yourself away when a smile starts to spread across your face at the point when I’m leaning across your eye line to try to get your attention. AT that point I can’t help laughing too. You love to play hide and seek. And even if you always hide in our bed, finding you and seeing that laughing smile never ever gets tired. Having said that you did improve your hiding place tonight.

Lucy, I love you. May you always have that spark that makes you our Lucy. It is a joy to have you as my daughter.


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